She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize