He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
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Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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