I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Randomize