Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Damn victory sex feels great
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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