After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize