So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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