I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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