We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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