i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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