the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
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I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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