Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
tell me about the fingering
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