Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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