she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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