pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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