WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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