And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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