Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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