Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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