he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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