My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize