Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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