i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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