Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
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Actions speak louder than pants.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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