How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize