shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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