neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize