you have to choose: penises or morals?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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