Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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