I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize