Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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