I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize