then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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