I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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