the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
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I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
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Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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