And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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