its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize