i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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