those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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