If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I pour the whiskey from now on
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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