Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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