he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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