what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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