if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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