I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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