we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize