i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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