"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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