I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize