dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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