it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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